Bad Analogies

It’s the last down of the first inning and you’re in the three point zone getting ready to volley a bogey into the end zone. You don’t have to be a sports fan to realize how completely nonsensical that statement is. I pieced together that messy ESPN casserole to demonstrate a point about using analogies in writing – personal, business or otherwise. There is nothing wrong with using comparisons, whether from current events, history, pop culture or sports, to make your point. I myself have been known to pepper various pieces of writing with “it’s like a…” “as if he were…” and such to make my points.


My specific beef is with those wannabe literary geniuses who go deep with sports analogies to begin, explain and conclude every last sentence, paragraph and diatribe. The analogies run so rampant across so many different sports, using so many clichés that I often wonder if these writers have even SEEN any of these sports played. Is there a “sports analogies for dummies” reference book out there that connects the sales and marketing principle to the corresponding sports analogy? “Closing the sale = hitting a homerun.” “Losing the sale = fumble.” “Accidentally spilling coffee on the sales prospect = pulling a Buckner.” This could easily be a bestseller, I’m sure.


In the meantime, all you overeager sports analogists, for the sake of we the readers, please use analogies judiciously (ex. if you’re making a complicated point and there’s a universal comparison, if there’s a perfect analogy for what you’re saying that you just can’t pass up, etc.). Don’t analogize for the sake of analogizing. Or I’ll tackle you on the one yard line!